Do Hard Things, Together
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” — African Proverb
Hard things come in many forms. For some, it’s finishing a marathon side by side with a friend. For others, it’s starting a small business with a partner, learning a new language together, or working late nights to bring a creative project to life.
It might even be something as simple (and as difficult) as supporting a loved one through illness, parenting together through sleepless nights, or rebuilding after a setback. These are the challenges that create shared memories, the kind we carry with us long after the task is complete.
Recovery and Rediscovery
In early 2021, I spent several months in physical theray, first from knee surgery, and then from a back injury that left me unable to walk. Everyday movements became a struggle, and simple things like going to the bathroom became ordeals.
However, instead of letting the injury define me, I set a personal goal: to not only recover but to rebuild myself stronger than before. The target I chose was admittedly high, to complete a triathlon, which became my milestone for recovery. Training wasn’t easy. Progress came slowly but each small step forward stitched together my confidence and strength.
In September of that year, I crossed the finish line of my first triathlon. On paper, it was just a race. But to me, it was proof. It was proof that I could come back from a serious setback. It was proof that I could build discipline, balance, and grit. It was proof that my story wasn’t over.
However, what I couldn’t have anticipated was how this goal would ripple outward. Friends and family starting joining us. As we shared our journey, that spirit of resilience carried forward into new challenges, including one that had been waiting unfinished for years.
Beyond a Personal Goal
Back in 2017, my wife and I set out to complete a Spartan Trifecta: the Sprint, the Super, and the infamous Beast. We conquered the Sprint and the Super in San Jose. The Beast in Big Bear was next — already bought, planned, and on the calendar.
And then life surprised us in the best way possible: we found out we were going to be parents.
That year, instead of climbing mountains, we stepped into the greatest adventure of our lives: parenthood. We couldn’t have been happier — or more nervous.
But even as life moved forward, there was a quiet sense of unfinished business. The goal we had set aside never completely disappeared. It sat in the background — waiting, unfulfilled, but not forgotten.
A Goal Reborn
Five years later, we made the decision to go back and finish what we started. We were going to complete a Spartan Trifecta by the end of that year.
Our first comeback race was a Spartan Super in San Luis Obispo: A 10K distance with 25 obstacles. My wife and I raced side by side, filming the whole experience, later uploading it on our YouTube channel, Make Someday Today. But instead of making just a highlight reel, we turned the video into a beginner’s guide — showing every obstacle, breaking down what to expect, and encouraging viewers that anyone, yes anyone, could do it.
The response shocked us. Comments poured in from people who had been on the fence for years but finally signed up because of our video. They told us, “Your story gave me the push I needed.”
Our race wasn’t just ours anymore. It had become a spark for others.
An Unexpected Surprise
The next event was a Sprint in Pala, near San Diego. But what made this one unforgettable wasn’t the mud or the obstacles — it was who joined us: my parents, at 61 and 60 years old, for a 5K mixed in mud, muck, and 20 obstacles.
If you had told me years earlier that my mom — a writer who was never exactly the “mud and muck” type — would be crawling under barbed wire, climbing walls, and slogging through muddy water, I couldn’t imagine it. But there she was, alongside my dad, tackling every obstacle with grit and laughter. She wrote about their experience in a post called, “Surviving the Spartan Race After 60!”.
Not only was this race one of my most cherished memories, doing this race together with my parents, it was a shared experience that we still talk about and laugh about to this day.
We filmed that race, too. Once again, inspiration rippled outward. People didn’t see elite athletes; they saw everyday parents and grandparents doing hard things. My mom even wrote about her experience, and the comments poured in: “If your parents can do it, so can I.”
The spark of inspiration keep spreading and our goal, our journey, was growing into something beyond oursleves.
The Hardest Climb
And then came the Beast. The unfinished chapter.
A half-marathon distance. Thirty obstacles. High elevation. Thousands of feet of climb.
From the very first hill, it was brutal. Minutes into the race, people were already cursing the mountain: “I can’t believe I paid for this!” alongside a few other choice words. A couple miles in, some sat on the sidelines, unable to continue.
But we pressed on. Hill after hill. Obstacle after obstacle. Hours later, we reached the summit. The valley stretched out beneath us, breathtaking and humbling. But by then we were out of food, running on fumes, and racing the setting sun.
At times, temptation crept in: cut corners, skip obstacles, just get it over with. But we hadn’t waited five years to take shortcuts.
Eight and a half hours later, with trembling legs and burning lungs, we crossed the finish line. Before sunset. Together.
The race we left unfinished in 2017 had finally been conquered. However, that wasn’t the best part.
Passing the Torch
The best part was what our journey sparked in our daughter (and others).
At just four years old, she decided she wanted to complete her own trifecta. That same year, she did two of the three races. The next year, she earned her full trifecta. Watching her push through her own challenges filled me with pride far greater than any medal ever could.
This is the essence of why we do hard things together. It isn’t about finish times or medals. It’s about memories, connection, and showing the next generation that challenge is worth embracing.
Inspiration Beyond Ourselves
As we continued racing, something unexpected began to happen. People started recognizing us at Spartan events. Strangers would come up and thank us for sharing our story.
One moment in particular stands out: a man, 75 years old, approached us, eyes full of setniment. He told us he had been inspired by my parents. He explained to us that his grandson wanted to do a Spartan race, but didn’t want to do it alone. He started doing some research on Spartan and came across the video of my parents, doing the race with their kids. It was at that point that he decided that he was going to join his grandson and run the race with him. He put his hand on my shoulder and thanked us for sharing our story.
That’s when I realized: this was never just about us. This was about the ripple effect of community. One family’s story of embracing challenge, doing the hard things together, was spreading beyond ourselves and created a spark for countless others.
What It Means For You
The trifecta wasn’t just three races. It was a symbol of recovery, resilience, and rediscovery. It showed me that health isn’t just personal, it’s relational. Getting stronger physically made me a better husband, a more present father, and part of a family bonded by shared challenges.
It also showed me that hard things create stories. And stories create connection.
As my wife said at the beginning of one of our videos, “It doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be the first one to finish, or if you’re the last one, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the memories you walk away with.”
In the end, what we finish matters far less than who we finish with.
Races end, medals tarnish, and even our strongest accomplishments eventually fade into the background. But the bonds we build, the stories we create, and the inspiration we pass on to others endure.
Doing hard things together doesn’t just change us, it changes the people around us. And that, more than any finish line, is the true victory.
Your Turn
Think of one challenge you’ve been putting off, big or small. Now imagine doing it with someone you trust. Whether it’s a fitness goal, a creative pursuit, or a personal habit, invite someone to join you.
Start small. Start together. Start now.
As Marcus Aurelius once said, “The obstacle is the way.” When you face challenges with others, the very things that seem to stand in your path can become the path, leading not only to resilience, but to deeper connection, shared memories, and joy that endures far beyond the accomplishment itself.
